WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
