i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
