bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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