I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
In America we eat man semen.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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