You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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