FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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