Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
