He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
