yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
