nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
