This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Even my vagina gasped.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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