I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
