Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize