don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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