This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
