no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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