i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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