arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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