Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
