Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
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No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"