It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
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maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later