I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog