Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
