Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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