they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
