I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
