I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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