so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
