Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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