Kiss
Puke
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize