Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize