i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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