Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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