i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize