Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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