# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
