I cockslap morals
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
