I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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