what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
