I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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