Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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