I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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