so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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