and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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