Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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