I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
