Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
