I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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