Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
