Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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