New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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