this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
