3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
