I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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