i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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